FORT LAUDERDALE COUNSELING AND THERAPY BLOG
Twelve Practical Ways to Stop Stress - From Maesk Counseling in Fort Lauderdale
From our friends at fact hacker.com, here are some outstanding (and simple) ways to cope with stress. Especially timely during the Holidays.
Have you ever heard of the word karoshi? Working for long periods under extreme stressful work conditions can lead to sudden death and the Japanese call this phenomenon karoshi. It literally means death from overwork mainly from heart attack and stroke due to stress.
We all know that stress kills and it needs to be managed and controlled. Left unaddressed it will bring you down, can cause depression, anxiety, disease and even karoshi, death. It is essential that we get a grip on our stress. Below are 12 practical ways to stop stress:
Express Your Happiness - Laugh hard and loud. If you don’t have a sense of humor, find someone else who does. Laughter releases endorphins (happy chemicals) from the body, and it helps boost your immune system.
Take Control Over Your Time and Schedule - You will be much more able to deal with stress if you have a good handle on your schedules as they pertain to your job, relationships, and other activities. Much of this entails simplifying. And when you are mostly in control of your time, you are more inclined to stay focused and calm. Plan your time wisely. Remember to leave room for unexpected events, both negative and positive. Be adaptable in rearranging your agenda. Get up 15 minutes early in the morning. Allow an extra 15 minutes to get to all appointments. Just building in a little extra time can do wonders for relieving the stress of rushing from one thing to the next. Avoid procrastinating on important or urgent tasks. Whatever needs doing, do it immediately. Do the unpleasant tasks early, so that you won’t have to worry about them for the rest of the day. Also, keep a digital schedule. Don’t just rely on your memory. Lastly, do your tasks one thing at a time at a time. Focus your attention on the present moment, whether it is the person talking to you or the job at hand. This helps you to avoid making errors – which lead to more tension and anxiety. Be patient in waiting. Anxiety caused by impatience can rise up your blood pressure. Say no to requests that you cannot accomplish. Delegate trivial tasks. You must remember that you don’t have to do it all yourself. Crack a job into separate tasks and assign them to people with the suitable skills.
Work Out - Strive and get some habitual exercise such as brisk walking or interval training or whatever appeals to you. Regardless of what you do, exercise considerably reduces the stress factor. Work out also improves sleep and gives you time to think and focus on other things. It also promotes the release of natural soothing chemicals in your body. Just be sure to avoid excessive exercise, however, as this may have an adverse effect and might cause more stress.
Take Slow Deep Breaths - Take time throughout your ay to calm down your muscles and breathe deeply and slowly. Do it several times. Follow your breath as it flows in and out. Do not try to have power over it. This is a good way to relax in the midst of any activity. This practice allows you to find a breathing pattern that is natural and relaxing to you. You can even make a sighing sound as you exhale, and feel tension dissolve.
Food Makes All the Difference - Try not to skip meals and be sure you are eating the most nutrient-dense and healthy foods possible. Avoid packaged foods, caffeine, alcohol, sugar and grains. These types of foods cause major stress on the body without providing nourishment. Getting proper nutrition through your food is essential. For example, researchers have found that even small deficiencies of thiamin, a B-complex vitamin, can cause anxiety symptoms. Pantothenic acid, another B-complex vitamin, is critical during times of stress.
Live Optimistically - Count your blessings, particularly when everything seems to go wrong. Try not to exaggerate the complexity of your problems. Every problem has a solution. All you need to do is deal with it. Learning to be happy and to enjoy life is a blessing. Live one day at a time.
Put Off Problems Earlier Than They Occur - This takes some preparation. If you are going to another city for an valuable meeting, carry your presentation materials and dress suit on board the plane. Acquire gas for the car before the tank is unfilled. Get usual oil changes and checkups. Keep food ready anytime at your house so you can fix a fast meal without going to the store. Keep food, supplements, and toiletries on hand so you never have to feel tensed when they run out.
Allow Yourself to Enjoy Life - Grant yourself some physical pleasure and enjoyment to help your stress slip away. Indulge yourself to a professional massage, or trade massages with a loved one. Be sure to give yourself consent every now and then to enjoy a movie, watch a concert or sports event, listen to music, sit quietly or read a book. Take pleasure in a soothing cup of chamomile herb tea. (Chamomile has long been used to relieve nervous tension.)
Create Goals - If you don’t know where you’re going any road will take you there. It is important to set goals for yourself. Research shows that people are more likely to make progress and get ahead when they lay out specific goals. Time management experts highlight the importance of writing down your important goals. Break big projects down into a series of small steps that you can work on every day. Want to change jobs? Contact one prospective employer today. Is writing a book your dream? Commit to writing one page a day. Inch by inch, slowly but surely, you will get to your ultimate destination. Knowing that you are striving toward your dreams relieves frustrations that mount when you feel stuck in a situation that seem to have no direction. Likewise, be flexible with your goals and adjust them as life changes.
Recharge Your Spirit Daily - Schedule private time alone every day for at least 15 minutes. You deserve it and you need it. Turn off the telephone and enjoy a quiet time. A shower or bath is great. So is sitting and meditating. You may want to spend a few minutes writing your feelings out in a journal. It can help you find a new viewpoint in life and relieve internal conflicts.
Get Sufficient Sleep - Settle on how much sleep you require for best possible performance. Lack of sleep worsens the body’s responses to stress and lowers the immune system. We simply cannot function properly without adequate sleep. It is key to physical and emotional health. Aim for at least 7 – 9 hours per night.
You Don’t Have to Do It All - Always remember that you don’t have to attain all the money, fame, and success in the world. Today’s society has too much of a focus to build up as many accomplishments as we can. It leaves it impossible for us to balance our personal life, family life and work life. There is only a certain amount of time each day and a limited amount of what you can get done. You don’t have to do it all. Choose what you need and want to do and be done with the rest.
From Maesk Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Ten Signs You May Need Professional Therapy
We all go through challenging times in our lives, but some experiences are worse than others. There is NO problem that can’t be eased—a little or a lot—by seeking professional counseling .
Some problems are like a sore throat—we go to the doctor, get a short round of treatment, and feel better. But others, such as death of a loved one, relationship issues, parenting problems, moving to a new city, living with the after effects of abuse from childhood, dealing with an elderly parent, health or weight issues—are more like a cancer. The problem only grows without professional intervention.
So what are you experiencing?
1) I have low energy, “blahs”
2) someone in my life puts me down or threatens me
3) I can’t relax
4) I have the same fights over and over
5) people keep disappointing me
6) My sleep is disturbed
7) I can’t keep a job and/or a relationship
8) My temper gets out of hand
9) I wouldn’t mind if I weren’t here anymore
10) I feel guilty all the time
I have extensively studied how to help these and many other issues common to all people. Let’s get started making your life better! We will gently examine the things that are troubling you and I will guide you toward new ways of thinking and dealing with people to lead you toward freedom. Homework is an essential part of this process, as you take the suggestions I give you and try them out between sessions. Are YOU ready to change? If so, Maesk Group Counseling is here to help!
From Maesk Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Feel Better...Adopt a Pet!
This time something a little different than Fort Lauderdale counseling or therapy per se. How about adopting a senior pet?! It's well known that there are numerous benefits to owning a pet, such as a sense of connection, warmth, heightened feelings of relaxation, etc.
Here is an article from the Sun-Sentinel that talks about adopting senior pets. So before you rush out and get that spry young kitty or puppy, be a hero and give a senior or ailing pet a try. They will love you just as much and you will be doing a good deed!
November is Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Try to guess the best kept secret in the pet rescue world. If you answered, “Adopting an older cat or dog”, then pat yourself on the back. It’s the best gift you can give yourself…and the pet you’re adopting. And now’s the perfect time: November is “Adopt a Senior Pet Month.”
Think of all the reasons why a senior pet is the perfect fit:
• He’s a lot calmer than a rambunctious puppy or kitten
• He may have had experience living with someone…and may adjust to children and other pets more readily.
• He’s likely housetrained, so you won’t be getting up in the middle of the night to take him out…or find puddles on your carpet when you get home.
• He probably knows basic obedience commands, so if you accidentally drop a glass, he’ll may know to “stay” and not cut himself.
• He’ll be less destructive. The days of chewing shoes and swallowing socks are far behind him.
OLD AGE IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE!
So what does “old” really mean? Most pet owners multiply their pet’s age by 7 and think that’s the age in human years. But that’s not quite accurate.
The American Animal Hospital Association offers a wide age range for pets that are considered “senior”: 7-11 years old for a cat and 5-8 years old for a dog.
Traditional veterinary dogma believes that the larger the dog, the faster he ages.
For example, a small dog like a Chihuahua is considered a senior at 8 years old. But it’s not unusual for one – given proper care- to live into his late ‘teens. A Great Dane, on the other hand, is considered a senior at age 5 with a lifespan of 7-10 years.
Making an evidence-based determination of when all pets should be considered “senior” is difficult because of breed and species differences.
Veterinarians use the term “Senior” when a dog or cat has reached the last 25% of their life expectancy. Your veterinarian can help you understand your pet's true age. Learn more here
Senior dogs, like senior people, have a lot of life left in them. Many of them still enjoy hiking, long walks, swimming and chasing their favorite critters. Learn more about caring for dogs at every stage of life here.
Senior cats are also a good bet! They fight the signs of aging for years and many have very similar behavior to when they were young. It’s often impossible to differentiate between a three year old and well cared for thirteen year old cat.
The American Animal Hospital Association has great resources on how to care for cats at any life stage.
HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT SENIOR PET FOR YOUR LIFESTYLE
Here are questions to ask yourself:
Q: Do I want a dog who still is very active but who won’t destroy the house with his excessive energy?
A: YES? Consider adopting a 7-12 year-old mix-breed with retriever, pointer, pit bull or hound in her lineage.
Q: Do I want a dog to just keep my couch warm and give me lots of love?
A: YES? Try a retired racing greyhound. Believe it or not, greyhounds are fantastic couch potatoes and there are hundreds waiting in shelters for forever homes.
Q: Do I want a pint-sized companion who I can carry with me to Starbucks and take on the plane?
A: YES? Opt for a breed like a Chihuahua (one of the most common little cuties waiting to be rescued) or poodle mix.
Older cats can make fantastic travel companions, too, especially if they enjoy nesting in a carrier.
Q: Do I want to help a medically-challenged dog or cat live out her life comfortably in a loving home?
A: YES? Look online or visit your local shelter for a pet with “Special Needs.” Certain “needs,” such as having only one eye or three legs, actually require little extra care. If you fall in love with a pet with other medical issues and have concerns about care, speak to a veterinarian before you adopt.
YOUR VET CAN HELP YOUR NEW PET STAY YOUNG
Just as life expectancy in humans has increased, the same has happened with our pets. Veterinary medicine has reached a golden age in our ability treat pets in their golden years. Veterinary practices are delivering higher-quality medical care to family pets, and animals are living well past what used to be considered a normal life span. Likewise, veterinary practices are diagnosing and outlining treatments for greater numbers of chronic and age-related diseases.
While your veterinarian may have access to cutting-edge treatments specifically geared for older animals including pain management, MRIs and chemotherapy, kidney transplants, acupuncture and herbal therapies, not every senior pet needs this type of aggressive treatment.
If you choose to share your life with an older pet, there is no shortage of resources for you to be sure that the time you spend with him will be rewarding and peaceful.
WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOUR NEW SENIOR PET’S HEALTH
Once you bring your “new-to-you” senior pet home from the shelter, the next step is to visit is your veterinarian who can identify diseases that could have been transmitted within the shelter or prior to adoption. Many veterinarians follow the American Animal Hospital Association’s (AAHA) Senior Care Guidelines for Dogs and Cats which recommend that “senior” wellness tests begin for pets at middle age to establish baseline values and to ensure that there are no clinically silent health abnormalities. If your pet is middle aged, your vet may recommend a physical exam and laboratory testing every year or every 6 months for senior pet.
As pets age, they can develop problems similar to those seen in elderly people. These health issues can include cancer, heart disease, kidney/urinary tract disease, liver disease, diabetes, joint or bone disease, senility, and weakness.
Be sure to keep a close eye on her as more changes occur in older bodies.
As your pet ages, so do you. What’s more special than aging together?
For more information, click on the links below:
1. AAHA’s main Website
3. Senior Dog and Cat Guidelines
4. Dog and Cat Life Stage Guidelines
5. The Dental Guidelines.
(Credit to: Heather Loenser, DVM
Staff Veterinary Advisor for the American Animal Hospital Association)
From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Healthy Communication Tips
If you're thinking of marriage counseling, this recent video may be of interest, as it gives a "sneak preview" of working on healthy communication.
From Maesk Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Getting the Most Out of Therapy
No matter if you are coming to Maesk Group Counseling for depression help, anxiety help, marriage counseling, or other issues, many factors determine the depth of relief and satisfaction a client experiences from their counseling. Here are some suggestions for making your therapeutic experience the best possible:
1) Be totally honest. Believe me, I've heard every story. The human condition contains basic elements that exist in all problems presented, and you're not going to shock me, nor am I going to disapprove of you!
2) Be open to new ways of thinking. Although you are free to examine, use, or discard any suggestions I make, remember that behavior change is required for growth. "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."
3) Understand the difference in professional therapy and "talking to a friend." A minimum of seven years of college is required to legally practice as a counselor. We are also required to get several thousand hours of internship experience and supervision before being licensed.
4) Expect some resistance from family or friends. Change, even good change, can be threatening, and comes with a price. Your relationships will change because your world changes when YOU change. There will be people in your life who resist this, who want you to "stay in your box." It is indeed necessary to rock the boat for things to ultimately improve.
5) Do your homework. The true change of the therapy experience only takes place outside of the office, as you test the new ideas I give you and report the results back to me.
6) Journal, journal, and journal some more. The research is compelling: journaling continues the therapeutic progress outside of the session, releases tension, and moves you forward faster.
7) Attend as regularly and as often as possible. For most people, that means a commitment to weekly therapy. It’s also smart to come in occasionally after therapy has ended if you sense a downturn in mood or thinking.
8) Be patient with yourself. It took you a lifetime to develop these thinking patterns; it will take more than a session or two to change them!
9) Make notes after the session. Ideally, schedule enough free time after your therapy to go somewhere and process what came up.
10) Take responsibility for the session. Notice during the week what bothers you, excites you, what insights come up in your journaling that need to be explored further. Bring this information to session.
From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Things Happy People Do
This is a great article from The Power of Happy:
11 Things That Genuinely Happy People Do
Have you ever wondered what makes genuinely happy people happy? It’s not that their lives are less stressful or that they have more money or friends. No those do not have a bearing on happiness. There are several things, however, that really happy people do and 11 of them are listed below. These habits, ways of being and rituals are keys to what makes happy people happy.
1. They Rest
Happy people cultivate rest. They know when it is time to take a break and slow down. They are great at getting things done, but it is only because they are well-rested. Incorporating rest and relaxation as a mandatory part of the lives of truly happy people. They take the necessary time to rejuvenate.
2. They Think
Happy people use their brains. They know this is one of their biggest assets. Happy people know that thinking is important to making good decisions and having fruitful relationships. They think through what they’re doing and how they’re doing it. Likewise, happy people consciously think about choosing happiness, what that means to them and how to do create true joy in their lives.
3. They Turn Off Their Devices
Happy people love technology just as much as the rest of us, but they are not addicted to it. They know when it is time to set down their phones, tablets and laptops. They make the effort to engage with the people around them face-to-face and without distraction. Similarly, they also take time to soak up the world around them, not just through technology, but with their actual senses in the present moment.
4. They Move
Happy people know that our bodies were made to move and they move their bodies. The human body needs to move to maintain health. Likewise, it helps people to feel good and happy when we move regularly. From walking to stretching to high intensity interval training to yoga – if you want to feel happier, start moving your body. See also Spark by John J. Ratey for more information about how moving improves mood.
5. They Do Things They Love to Do
An essential component to being happy is taking time to create time to engage in doing the things you enjoy. Happy people know that it is crucial to make the time to do the things they love and then they do it, happily and without guilt. To figure out how to do more of the things you enjoy, read Take the Leap by Heather McCloskey Beck.
6. They Eat Well
Do you ever see truly happy people downing junk food or fast food? No, you don’t. You just don’t. Truly happy people are also health people fueling their bodies with nourishment. Science is now linking mood to food with sugar being a major culprit in depression and anxiety. Happy people take care of their bodies. It’s not to say they don’t indulge occasionally, but for the most part, eating well is important to them and contributes to their happiness.
7. They are Deeply Grateful
This is one of the most common characteristics amongst the happiest of people – they are deeply grateful. Happy people recognize what they have. They also see the silver lining in all situations, no matter how grim. Further, they express their gratitude openly. They are thankful for the things they have, the people in their lives and their experiences.
A great way to get started on cultivating more gratitude is to keep a journal and write down a few things each day that you are grateful for. At first it might seem trivial or even difficult for you, but over time, it becomes part of who you are.
8. They Plan
Happy people love the present moment, but they also plan ahead so that they are prepared in life situations. They are good with their money too. This keeps their stress lower and allows them to enjoy the present moment without the worry that so many people feel on a constant basis. Happy people have a flexible plan in place all the time.
9. They Read Stuff
Happy people are learners and are known to read things that develop them as humans, increase their skills or that simply inspire them. Whether it is fiction or non, happy people are quite often also readers. They like to constantly learn, better themselves and be entertained through reading.
10. They Play
Happy people know that play is a huge part of happiness. Play is defined by Brene Brown as time spent without a purpose. It is just being. Goofing off and fooling around. Tied down to nothing and with no expectations, happy people incorporate regular play into their lives.
11. They Purposefully Choose Happiness
Not all experiences in life are happy ones. Likewise, people are not just automatically happy. It takes effort and one of the most common traits among really happy people is that they purposefully choose happiness. They make the most out of all experiences and choose to find joy in all points of the journey. If this is new to you, try this – just tell yourself you’re going to choose to be happy. Try it out for even just a day and you will see the difference it can make.
From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - An Attitude of Gratitude: Tips for Tough Times
“In the depth of winter, I finally realized that deep within me there lay an invincible summer.” A. Camus
Let’s face it, life in Fort Lauderdale can throw us curves sometimes. We all experience the ups and downs that lead some of us to seek a counselor’s help: relationship issues, money problems, job struggles, grief and loss. Add any of those stressors to our current economy and it becomes even more challenging to stay positive and thankful! And yet, an optimistic focus is an essential quality for mental health and happiness. What do we do?
The Practice of Optimism
The alarming thing about tough times is that negativity feeds on itself. As we “talk fear” to others, we contribute to THEIR anxiety. They then spread that talk to more people, keeping us all in a state of uneasiness. Negativity is truly contagious, a “mental virus” spread by thoughtless conversation, news stories, and emails. Before you know it, a whole nation is panicking, which helps cause the very hard times we fear.
What we Focus On, Grows…
An ‘attitude of gratitude’ simply means that we make a conscious choice to put our attention on what we like about our lives. One easy exercise is to list the three best things that happened to us today, and then note why they happened. The “why” is usually because we chose to make an effort to improve our lives, whether it’s the good feelings we get from working out, or the pleasure of calling a friend. This helps us see that we are not victims and we are not powerless. There is always one small thing we can do to improve our present circumstance and ease our anxiety. Some ideas:
Lay the problem down. Take a break from trying to solve the situation. Put aside the divorce papers and take a walk. Leave the resume writing behind and watch a funny movie. Let your mind rest.
Limit the time spent dwelling on and talking about the problem. Just as not talking about it at all makes it worse by suppressing it into the body, so talking about your problem obsessively can keep you panicked. Your discussions should be brief and you should only confide in a positive, non-advising friend, family member, and your counselor.
Give yourself healthy treats. A nap, a novel, or signing up for a class can be a little lift to help you get through a hard time.
Examine the problem on paper. Write down how you feel for a few minutes to release the problem. Things look different on paper than in your head!
Let yourself grieve. Grief is a natural and necessary process when facing a loss, whether you have lost a job, a person, a lifestyle, or a marriage. Crying is important for release of cortisol, a damaging hormone that builds in the body during stress.
Avoid negative people. There will always be those who are determined to “spread the virus” of negativity. Some people get a sense of importance from repeating bad news and the media depends on bad news for ratings! Be wise about who gets your attention.
There is always something hopeful to say, something to be grateful for. Fix your attention on what you appreciate, and more good things will come along! And if you need us, Maesk Group Counseling is here to help!
From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Sleep and Yawning
Ever wonder why you yawn not only when you're tired, but when you're nervous or excited? And why do others tend to yawn when you do? This article, from The Wall Street Journal, discusses this. And remember, if you're not getting the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep per night (for most adults), Maesk Group Counseling can help with your "sleep hygiene." Just call or email and you'll be on your way to a better night's sleep!
The real reason we yawn
Yawning can be a problem at the office for Lindsay Eierman.
"I've explained, 'I'm sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night,' " says Ms. Eierman, a 26-year-old social worker from Durham, N.C.
But a lack of sleep may not be the problem.
Researchers are starting to unravel the mystery surrounding the yawn, one of the most common and often embarrassing behaviors. Yawning, they have discovered, is much more complicated than previously thought. Although all yawns look the same, they appear to have many different causes and to serve a variety of functions.
Yawning is believed to be a means to keep our brains alert in times of stress. Contagious yawning appears to have evolved in many animal species as a way to protect family and friends, by keeping everyone in the group vigilant. Changes in brain chemistry trigger yawns, which typically last about six seconds and often occur in clusters.
"What this tells us is it's a very complicated system, and there are probably many different roles for yawning," says Gregory Collins, a researcher at the University of Texas Health Science Center in San Antonio who has identified some of the chemical processes at work in the brain.
There are many misconceptions about yawning, which was long believed to be the body's way of correcting for a dearth of oxygen. Our tendency to yawn when other people yawn has long been incorrectly explained as primarily an expression of a person's empathy.
To unravel the mystery of yawning, scientists built upon early, observed clues. Yawning tends to occur more in summer. Most people yawn upon seeing someone else do it, but infants and people with autism or schizophrenia aren't so affected by this contagion effect. And certain people yawn at surprising times, like parachutists who are about to jump out of a plane or Olympic athletes getting ready to compete.
"There was probably some yawning soccer players in Brazil" before World Cup games, says Robert R. Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland, in Baltimore County.
From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Communication and Difficult People
This article, while not about counseling or therapy per se, has some great tips for dealing with difficult people, and mentions one of my favorites - mindfulness. It can be found here.